Smoking in the Boys Room.

Most people who know me personally know that I’m not a big meat-eater. I stopped eating “four-legged animals” when I was a sophomore in high school. I was forced to dissect a fetal pig, felt bad, and vowed to not eat pigs again. Cows were saved because they’re just so darn cute!

Since being married, The Husband and I have been through quite a few food phases. In New Mexico there was the “boxed meal” phase; that didn’t last long. In Maryland there was the “local, sustainably farmed sausage” phase; we figured “Happy Pigs”, as we called them, were probably ok with us eating them seeing as they were so darn happy. So far in Texas we’ve had the, “we had sausage in Maryland, let’s just have sausage here” phase; it didn’t last long either. There was the vegan phase. But my love for ice cream and cheese had the better of me. There was even the “only organic, free-range chicken” phase. But the one “phase” that we keep coming back to and pretty much stick to, is vegetarianism. Well, we still eat fish (I love salmon) so it’s more pescetarian.

Having said all that, I feel that I have to make a confession to all my vegetarian and vegan friends out there. Before The Husband and I left for Oregon we were being awesome pescetarians/vegetarians. We were eating mostly beans, lentils, quinoa, and the occasional slice of facon (fake bacon) or veggie sausage patty; and would have a piece of fish about once a week. We didn’t miss meat at all. Well, here’s where the confession. When we were in Oregon… I… It’s really not my fault… Well see… Ummmm… I… I… I WENT ON A BACON BINGE OK?

*Clears throat*

Sorry, it’s still a bit of a touchy subject.

I don’t even know how it happened. Even though The Husband and I had sausage since being married, we never ate bacon. Well one morning someone asked if I wanted turkey bacon (something I ate a lot of in college), and I randomly answered with, “Oh, it’s fine. We’ll just have regular bacon!”. WHAT DID I JUST SAY??? Apparently there was no turning back, because after that day we had bacon almost every day. We would have it in the morning with breakfast. We went out for dinner and I had a salad with bacon. We had Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza with extra regular bacon. I was like a crack addict with the stuff.

Once we got back to Texas I felt awful about my binge. I couldn’t believe just how much bacon I had eaten, but also the fact that I had eaten bacon at all was pretty astonishing. I figured the only way to get my good, animal loving karma back was to go back to no meat (except VERY limited amounts of fish).

The Dad let us take a smoker back to Texas with us. And since we are trying to get our karma back in order we figured, why not smoke some tofu! We had done it before in a friend’s smoker and it turned out pretty good. We figured why not try it again?

The first thing you have to do after getting the tofu out of the package, is press and drain it since it’s full of liquid.

The last time we smoked tofu, we just smoked a whole brick. It was really good, however, the middle didn’t have as much delicious smokey flavor. This time we decided to slice the tofu.

The Husband has a secret blend of spices that he uses.

And he mixes them all together with a bit of water.

Then we pour the spices and water, or brine if you’re in the smoking circles, over the tofu and refrigerate over night.

The next day we got ready to smoke our tofu! First, you rise it, very, very carefully, and let it drain for about an hour.

Then the magical time finally came. It was time to put the tofu into the smoker! We added a bit of agave nectar and slid those bad boys into the smoker!

Since smoking tofu, or anything for that matter, is a long and tedious process, we took some time to have lunch. I made (F)BLT+MCA, or a (fake)bacon, lettuce, and tomato with mustard, cheese, and avocado. The Husband even made us fruit salad!

We even had time to do some chores. I weeded our flower beds; only getting mildly distracted by some VERY cool, neon green caterpillars.

While I weeded, The Husband worked on cleaning his bike.

We were doing chores for so long that when we went to flip the tofu, we realized that our tofu got, as The Husband said, “tan lines”.

Eventually, our smokey concoction was done. I have to say, not to toot our own horn, but TOOT TOOT! A little like jerky, a little like tofu, a lot like DELICIOUS! The smokey outside leads to a yummy, tofu center.

In other news. I’ve had a mix of horrible allergies (they actually might not be that bad, I just never got allergies in Oregon) and awful head cold (thank you to The Husband for passing that on to me). Since I don’t like doctors, this is my medicine. Some broth, with veggies, tofu (not smoked but cubed), and Japanese style noodles. Along with some Hello Kitty candies. I already feel better… And my karma getting realigned!

One Response to “Smoking in the Boys Room.”
  1. faith says:

    I am so so so jelly of your bad ass smoker, and smoked tofu sounds AMAZING!

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